I keep wondering and worrying about the future and it quite honestly is a little ridiculous. I know I have come a long way as a person and yes I'm not where a lot of my peers are but I must accept this as my journey. I'm still on that journey and I know I will get there.
The other day I was watching Oprah (yeah yeah spare me the cynicism) and one of the guest speakers was talking about having an attitude of gratitude. Of course we are all grateful but maintaining that sense of gratitude as an attitude is not easy. It means not only being grateful but feeling grateful. I am grateful for my parents and what they've done for me to make this journey. Honestly I can't say how much I am grateful for them to have willingly invested in millions for me to do a postgrad degree in this country and in a subject that I am passionate about but with a very little clear-cut ROI. But here's where my gratitude went wrong. Over this past year I've been carrying that gratitude like somone who's in a lot of debt. Instead of it making me feel good, I let it make me feel bad. Like I've gotten out this massive student loan that I need to pay back in the next two to three years. Of course I know and I want to repay them and bygod I will do everything I can to do so. But I want that to be a blessing and to look at it as an inspiration than as a long-term debt. I know for them what really matters ultimately is that I am happy and perhaps that above all is the most important way to repay them.
Come what may, I know I will be ok. In fact, more than OK. I've got family, great friends and dare I say it, even a little talent. But above all, I have things that I'm passionate about that get me excited to wake up and still be alive. I will continue to love, live and fight for them.
p.s. I declare this blog un-privatized.
2 comments:
well done :)
i think us 20 somethings are going through a quarter life century, and at times it can be hard to just get through the day.
good luck!
Thanks PP.
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